overload, racism, and study groups

I have finished my first week of nursing school, and am feeling at moments far behind, or on top of my game.

I am now in a study group.  Our first lecture night the instructor invided in three graduates of the course to talk to us about “how to survive the first quarter of nursing school”.  This had the effect of FREAKING ME OUT, and making me want to cry.  But as desired it gave me some good tips and motivated me.  I immediately wanted to cry, quit, and throw up.  How am I going to find time to make it all work?

Everyone pushed study groups.  I have never been in one, and always study well and alone.  I’m a 4.0 student for cryingoutloud!!  Do I really need a study groups.  Well according to everyone, YES.  The instrustor told us several times “YOU WILL FAIL IF YOU ARE NOT IN A STUDY GROUP”

So I joined on with some gals I knew from a previous science course, and it’s a good thing to do, if only I can find a way to ge to the study group regularly.

I’m married and have a toddler at home.  It makes it hard to even study (I try to leave the house regularly) let alone get to a study group.  I’ll work it out.

I also found out that the chances of me getting into the program were even slimmer than I had thought.  Of the 32 original seats, 15 are reserved for students who get a mere 3.0 in a program called the “Health Pathway”. WHAT!?!

3.0? REALLY?!  are you fucking kidding me?  RESERVED?!  I’m fairly pissed.  I did get in thatnk gawd, but now I know that not all the students worked as hard as I did.   Whatever, I will just try to not be bitter, cuz…. I GOT IN BEEYOTCHES!  Despite the odds.

Here’s the other weird thing.  The class is now 60+ because of stimulus $. ok, whatever, so now I am in there with mostly people who didn’t earn it like I did, and the class is jumbo sized (meaning less instructor time for me)

It’s a super diverse group, and the problem I have is that is way “down with whitey!”  It’s weird. Really weird.  Fine, whatever, but could the instructors concentrate on the fact that we are ALL nontraditional students?  Yes, I am a white female, just as nurses in the US have historically been.  FUCKING EXCUSE ME!  I no more chose to be white than you did to be Chinese. It’s a community college.  We are all here because our lives do not, for whatever reason allow us to pursue higher education at a university.  We are older, refugees, men, on our second careers, single Dads, working full time and supporting families, over worked and underpaid.  We are probably mostly low income (I surely am), live in lower-class neighborhoods, drive shitty cars and are not trustfund babies.  Yeah, so allot of the students are from Africa (yes Africa, as in “my country was destroyed by war and here I am”)

But it does not have to be so focus of RACE.  Really, if I said some of what the instructors do about “white women” or talked about the Muslim girls  in that manner it would be COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. So what the fuck?  Why is that ok?  It’s  not.

Concentrate on the fact we are all non-traditional students, not that most of us are minorities.  Yeah it is important, but don’t be so um….racist sounding.  Not cool.

Nursing 101… washing

Class started today.  There were obligatory teacher and staff introductions, and applause.  It is a small program at a community college, and most of us busted out butts to get in here.

I was scoping out the other students as we waited to get into our class room.  Lets see…. lots of girls who would turn out to be from Ethiopia, three or four males from the same country….well, most of my class is from Ethiopia. That’s fine.  Humans generally gravitate towards people like themselves, so I’m probably not getting an Ethiopian lab partner…..lets see, oh, hey!  Tattooed dykie gal, hm, no, wait she knows that other chick.  Well, snap.

I end up getting into the classroom and just taking a seat up front, just off center.  Then I say a quick little prayer for the ideal lab partner, whatever that means.  Actually for me that means someone confidant, who already has experience pokin people with things, and who has enough balls to sit not only in the front row, but next to me.

And bump-bada-bum-bum!!   Turns out my ideal lab partner is Hans, the older (than me, I really have no idea how old anyone is anymore) European guy.  Works in surgery now, and used to be a military medic.  Perfect!  I am already learning nifty things from him, and he fortunately has a sense of humor.

I have approximately 10million pounds of stuff to carry around.  Books or course, and now my rather jumbo “lab kit” which features fun things like: medical tape, Foley catheters, insulin syringes….cool!  And my purse and all the liquid vessels I need. (I’m talking about water and coffee, btw). And food.  I still refuse to get something with wheels on it.  Really.  Then I would feel old as fuck.

I am trying to age gracefully….lets see how that works out!  If I’m into tattoos and other body modification, what the hell would be wrong with a face lift when I’m older?  Nothing, that’s what.  I bring it up because the picture I brought to class today for an assignment featured forehead wrinkles.  Yeah, I know, not a big deal….it’s just that in my entire life I just never had a forehead that would wrinkle up, and now I do.

I am grateful that I have a great lab partner. Hope he dosen’t turn out to be creepy as the year progresses…. just nice, informed  and ready to work as hard as I am.

On a side note, we did the cream with hand-wash and UV light……I hope some people learned a valuable lesson about hand-washing….I was please with my results (good hand hygiene!)  but some of the others….UM… GROSS!

disease spreaders…..

Tomorrow I embark….

Reading my rather large and thankfully older, and therefore cheaper, text book today, I choked up.  Part of me is in disbelief, that after so much work, I am finally here.  And here is nursing school.  Over 200 applicants, and I was selected to participate in the program.  It was no easy thing, and at no small cost.  I have slavishly sat at this computer taking online classes.  I at times neglected (not horribly) my husband and young son while a pumped out papers, sometimes on subjects I don’t care about.

Now I will switching from online classes, where I can squeeze in my work in the “free” moments when everyone else sleeps or is otherwise occupied, to classes where I actually get to go to class.

I know I do not necessarily meet the image of the student nurse, not an old fashioned one anyway.  But for here in RainCity, I am not to odd.  There are many here who are heavily tattooed, who have creative hair, who break the stereo type.  I don’t know how it will be when we pick up and move to SunCity when I finish school, but I think there will be a little culture shock for me, and I am sure there will be some shock for them.

Its not too hard to disguise my self as “normal”.  If you look closely you  might notice gauged ears, or the little holes where body jewelry usually resides.  Strategically placed tattoos can be covered by regular clothes if I desire, a full chest piece is concealed beneath scrubs in a crew neck tee-shirt, the wrist one with a watch.

Now that I have been accepted into the program, and start tomorrow, I will soon be celebrating with another tattoo….a nurseing one.